Ek sal dit maak/ I will make it through

Verlede week, amper heel week was dit vir my ‘n moeilike week gewees.

Dis soos Louie Giglio in sy Dvd, Hope when life hurts most noem, dis soos “white water rafting” op die Zambezi rivier, waar jou boot rondgegooi word in die stroomversnellings,en as jy te relaxed is daaroor, jy soos ‘n kanon koeël oorboord geskiet word. En dat jy in die stil, rustige waters gebruik om weer jou roeispane en die res van jou toerusting weer regtrek vir die volgende aanslag.

So ‘n rustige genade-dag het ek Saterdag ervaar. Maar toe gebeur Sondag en die bakkie ongeluk voor die kerk…

Gisteraand, het ek gekom by ‘n punt gekom van ‘n emosionele laagtepunt.Ek het gevoel of ek net mooi genoeg gehad het van alles, dat ek net wou wegkripeer.

Maar ek het vanoggend opgestaan. En dis ‘n goeie begin. Ek het nie bly lê nie. God was nog altyd getrou en betroubaar in alle omstandighede, en Hy sal nie nou stop om só te wees nie.

Daar is ‘n song van Kutless, met die naam “Promise of a Lifetime, waarna ek vanoggend geluister, en dit was so ‘n inspirasie…hieronder is die woorde.

1.I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I’m feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

CHORUS:
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

2. Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me

BRIDGE:
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted

Die Song het my gehelp om weer die stukke op te tel, en saam met God die pad vorentoe te stap. Want God is Immanuel - God met ons.

Dalk was verlede week nie so aaklig nie….

___________________________________________________________


Last week was a terrible week for me as a person in dimensions of me as a person.

Like Louie Giglio puts it in his DVD called “Hope when life hurts most”, life can be compared to the experience he had, with a group of friends, doing white water rafting on the Zambezi River.

You will have times in life that you will pass through rapids, sometimes being hurled overboard. But then there is the calm stretches of river, which after being hurled out of the boat for the first time, you would brace yourself for the future “rapids” in life.

I had a couple of rapids during the course of last week, with a minute period of Grace and calmness on Saturday, just to find myself in a rapid on Sunday, when of course the car accident happened in front of the church…

Yesterday evening I was an emotional wreck, not even really motivated to carry on with life.

But, then the morning came, and like the Psalmist said, “Joy comes in the morning”. Getting up from bed was already a good start. It reminds me of the resurrection of Jesus from the Grave. Jesus rose and from that point the world would not be the same again.

I’ve listen to a song by the band Kutless, called ‘promise of a Lifetime’, which really inspired me.

1. I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I’m feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

CHORUS:
I know you’re always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I’m clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

2. Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me

BRIDGE:
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted

This song really helped me to pick up the broken pieces again of my life, and at the same time that God is walking with me, so I am not alone on this journey through life – even if it feels like it. God calls Himself Immanuel which translates to “God with Us.

In hindsight, maybe last week wasn’t all that bad for me….

Viewing the world through other glasses

When we are on ground level, or even still a bit higher up, we tend to see the poverty, hurt and overall judgement of humans based on human standards - Sometimes also being uncompassionate, not caring enough of those that needs, being quick to judge (and punish) people we don't know, based on our differences(Sometimes ourselves)

But, as someone i know said that from futher up (now that I have flown myself, from the stratosphere upwards), you don't see those differences or the needs or the poverty or the hurt.

The point I'm trying to make here, is to start loving your neighbour again, as you are suppose to do.And of course, loving yourself wil also make a difference to the world and to yourself

Vergifnis

“When you forgive someone, the knots are untied, and the past is released”
Reshad Field

Hiédié woorde, wat my so ‘n maand terug op ‘n bruinsuiker-pakkie (om meer spesifiek te wees, my gunsteling koffiewinkel in Cape Gate inkopie-sentrum), begroet het, sou dien as die middelpunt waar om alles draai in hiérdié skryfstuk.

Ek het iewers in verlede jaar (2008), ‘n skryfstuk oor die “Onse Vader” gebed geskryf, en as ek reg onthou, het ek al reeds toe vlugtig genoem, dat ek ‘n skryfstuk oor vergifnis sou wou skryf.

Die tyd om dit te doen, is nou die regte tyd in my lewe. Ek het tot die besef gekom dat miskien is dit dalk goed om oor vergifnis te skryf, want om eerlik te wees, vergifnis is nie vir my maklik nie. Ek sal ander maklik kan vergewe, maar ek sukkel om soms myself te vergewe.

Ek sukkel om spesifiek om myself te vergewe oor dinge wat nie eens nodig is om aan te bly hang nie, maar dan word dit deur myself en ander faktore gemuteer in ‘n aaklige gedrog, wat daarna uit is om my te jag en te verslind.

Die mens het een só ‘n gedrog die naam gegee en dit is skuldgevoelens. Sielkundiges en ander kenners van die menslike psige, sal vir jou kan sê, dat dié gedrog, as dit nie “beheer” word nie, dit elke druppel lewe binne-in jouself wil uitdruk en jou net daar sou los om te verdor.>

Elke druppel lewe uit ‘n mens uitdruk en hom daar los om te verdor?

Noem my naief, maar so vêr my kennis en insig strek, is daar net een manifestasie wie of wat daarna uit is om dit aan die mensekind te wil doen. Hy kom net om alles – absolute alles te vat waarop sy hande … sy kloue kan inslaan, die mensekind se besittings, reputasie en selfs sy lewe[1].

Ja, geagte lesers, dit wil vir my voorkom asof satan, die slang van ouds, nóg steeds daarna uit is om ons lewens op elke manier moontlik te ruïneer, insluitende dat hy die menslike psige so wil manupileer, soveel so dat ons binne-in slyk en modder vasgevang is, met geen uitkomkans nie. Hy wil ten graagste hê dat daardie wurggreep van die kettings waarmee hy ons neergebind het, van so ‘n aard is, dat daar menslike gesproke geen uitkomkans is nie.

Só ‘n lewe het God nooit vir enige van Sy skepsels in gedagte gehad nie, inteendeel Hy wil vir ons ‘n oorvloedige lewe gee[2]- ‘n lewe sonder kettings! Jesus hét die kettings laat afval, en terselfdetyd ons vergewe het.

As ‘n mens Jesus Christus se naam noem, wat is die heel eerste ding wat in jou gedagte opkom? Is dit dalk Josef, Maria en die Kind in die krip, of is dit die wondertekens wat blindes laat sien het, dowes laat hoor het nie en verlorenes laat bekeer het?

Ek sou sê, die antwoord op dié bostaande vraag is die Kruis.

Deur die kruis het daar vir ons verlossing gekom, toe ons nog sondaars was. Ja, dieselfde straf wat rowers en moordenaars en ander kriminele van daardie tyd in die Romeinse ryk moes dra vir hul oortredinge, het Jesus wat sonder sonde was ook onder gelei- die oortredinge wat Hy moes dra was nie syne nie, dit was myne, joune, ons almal s’n.

En die beste van als, ons het absoluut niks gedoen om dit (verlossing van ons sondes – vergifnis) te bewerkstellig nie, maar God het.

Dít my vriend is genade: Om te besef dat God gedoen het wat niemand anders kon doen nie, maar ook dat ons niks van ons kant af enigsins enigiets kan doen om dit te verdien nie. Inteendeel dit is ‘n geskenk wat ons onverdiend kry.

Omdat God ons vergewe het , van alles wat ons teen Sy wil gedoen het, en nie eens meer daaraan dink nie, hoeveel te meer kan ons nie sovêr gaan om onsself te vergewe – te laat gaan van die onnodige bagasie nie.

Dit is nie baie maklik nie. Ek sukkel om myself te vergewe en vry te spreek van dinge in my lewe wat ek so onodig saamsleep, welwetende dat Jesus al my bagasie tot by die Kruis gesleep het – en dáár laat staan het.

So mag jy besef dat Jesus nóg voordat jy vergifnis gesoek het, dit lankal reeds vir jou gegee hét, sonder enige voorwaardes.

Mag jy aan ander ook hiérdié onvoorwaardelike genade geskenk gee van vergifnis sonder om enigiets in ruil daarvoor te ontvang.

Mag jy ‘n lewe hê sonder perke, want God het lank-reeds die lewens-smorende kettings laat verbrokkel en jou verregverdig in Sy Seun, Jesus Christus.

En mag jy ware Shalom in jou lewe ervaar, want net soos God jou nie meer veroordeel nie, hoef jy nie meer jouself te veroordeel en in onvergifnis teenoor jouself te lewe nie.
____________
[1] Joh 10:10a
[2] Joh 10:10b

Tot die dood ons skei

Daar is ’n Engelse stelling wat lui “There are only two certain things in life- death and taxes”

Is dit nie ironies dat in die bostaande stelling wat handel oor sekerhede in ons lewenswandel hier op aarde, ook noem van die dood nie.

My gevoel is dat terwyl jy nog redelik jonk is, so terwyl jy nog skoolgaande is, dan pla dinge soos die dood jou nie eintlik nie, dis dalk net iets wat saam met die “hoë” ouderdom kom, “so ek gaan my nie veel daaroor verknies nie. Boonop het ek ’n Biologie-taak wat moet klaarkom wat handel oor mitose en die invloed van dié proses op nuwe lewe.”

Maar dan tref dit jou in jou vroeë twintigs (miskien kry die mens tog éérs sy verstand rondom sy een-en-twintigste lewensjaar)…dis nie net ou mense wat doodgaan as gevolg ouderdom nie. Daar is soveel ander omgewings-impakte wie mense rondom jou se draadjies te gou knip.

Ek het alreeds verlede jaar met Oupa Hein se skielike afsterwe ’n Engelse skryfstuk geskryf oor hoe om die afsterwe van iemand naby aan jou, te hanteer, wat ek op my webjoernaal (Blog) en Facebook se notas gepubliseer het en van plan was om ’n vertaling van hierdie skryfstuk in Afrikaans te doen. (vir my lojale Afrikaanssprekende lesers).

Ek het daarteen besluit om die skryfstuk te vertaal(dit verloor dalk sy trefkrag en konteks), maar tog besluit om opnuut oor hierdie onderwerp te besin en ’n nuwe skryfstuk hieroor te skrywe.

My ervaring met die dood is redelik beperk – gelukkig het dit nie baie gebeur dat ek die dood in die gesig moes staar nie, terwyl ’n alter –ego van my die mentaliteit het van ’n hoërskoolleerling, soos genoem in paragraaf drie. En dit is dat net ou mense gaan dood.(lees asseblief my uniek humorsin hierin)

Tot my skok verlede jaar Julie, toe Meneer le Roux, wat vir my skool gegee het ’n paar jaar terug(kan julle dit glo dit is vyf jaar sedert ek by MP se hekke uitgestap het), se vrou skielik aan kanker oorlede is. Sy was dan so jonk. Ek het die begrafnisdiens bygewoon met die aanvanklike motief in my kop om vir Meneer le Roux, ’n vorm van morele ondersteuning te gee, maar in retrospektief, voel ek dat die Here my begin emosioneel skuur en skaaf het, vir die afsterwe van Oupa Hein.

Omtrent dieselfde tyd, met Meneer le Roux se vrou se afsterwe, het oupa Hein en ouma Emmie kom besoek aflê by hul kinders en kleinkinders, wat in die Kaap woon.

Ek wil net op hierdie noot sê dat Oupa Hein en Ouma Emmie nie my biologiese grootouers is nie;Oupa Hein en Ouma Emmie het wél ’n vriendskapsband met my en my ma gesmee, miskien omdat ons so gereeld agter hulle (of voor hulle) in die kerk gesit het…. ek sal nooit rêrig weet hoekom nie.

Een ding wat my altyd sal bybly van Oupa Hein(behalwe dat ek ontdek het waarvan die Götze-humorsin sy oorsprong het, en dat dit oordraagbaar is na die volgende geslag en sommer uitgedeel word aan aangetroudes ook), is dat hy altyd my sou voorstel aan ander mense as sy “seun”(gelukkig is sy oudste seun nie die jaloerse tipe nie, en sover ek kennis dra geen probleem daarmee gehad nie).

Dit is nodeloos om te sê, maar ek het rêrig begin liefword vir die oom met sy Citroën,wat lyk asof dit enige oomblik na die maan toe kan vertrek en sy klein,fyn vroutjie.

Oupa Hein raak toe skielik ernstig siek en word opgeneem vir verder mediese diagnostiese toetse. Die skoknuus: Sy hele liggaam is deurtrek van die kanker en die dokters is nie baie optimisties oor sy toekoms nie. (miskien stel ek dit te sag)

Na ’n baie kort siekbed is Oupa op 25 September 2008 oorlede. Ek was sprakeloos, met die eerste hoor van die nuus. Die emosie van hartseer het my eers rêrig getref met die “dankie-sê” diens op die 3de Oktober. Gedurende die diens kon ek net-net die knop in my keel wegsluk en my emosies onder beheer hou.

Dit was heeltemal ’n ander storie, toe ek vir tannie Elmarie ’n bemoedigende drukkie, na die diens gegee het. Al die emosies het soos ’n damwal meegegee en vloede tot gevolg gehad.Nooit voorheen het ek so broos gevoel soos op daardie stadium nie.

Tog kan ek sê dat dit goed was vir my menswees goed om dit te ervaar, want die realiteit is dat ongelukkig is ons aardse lewens tydelik van aard en een of ander tyd sal ek dieselfde situasie teëkom en moet hanteer.

Dit was moeilik en seer om afskeid te neem van ’n persoon wat so diep in jou hart gekruip het in so ’n kort tydperk. Die leemte wat daar gelaat is, kan volgens jou deur geen ander persoon gevul word, behalwe daardie persoon gevul word nie, veral as jy die persoon begin liefkry het.

Elke keer as ek aan Oupa Hein dink, grinnik ek by myself, want in my gedagtes dink ek terug aan die tye toe hy “skelm” agter die kerktoring, voor die kerkdiens sou rook, en sy sigaret ongesiens laat verdwyn, veral as sy oudste seun in die omtrek is.

Die rouproses

Sommige mense sou sê dat om so gou moontlik terug te keer na jou normale daaglikse roetine, sal die verlange na die afgestorwe persoon laat en die hartseer wat jy ervaar het vinniger laat wegkwyn.

Ekself wil verskil van hierdie bostaande vorm van “cope”, juis omdat ek besef dat mense óf introverte is óf ekstroverte is en elkeen enige vorm van emosionele uitdrukking verskillend sou uitdruk.

In my opinie, dink ek die rouproses moet tydsgewys net soos die proses van vergifnis(of self-vergifnis hanteer word. Dit is nie sommer ’n proses wat jy oor en verby kry nie, en die tyd wat dit sal neem om te rou en afsluiting in jou lewe te kry, wissel van persoon tot persoon.

In die Joodse kultuur(en dit is tot vandag toe ook so), is daar die rou-tydperk genaamd Shivah (uitgespreek Shi-vah) wat vir sewe(Die Joodse woord vir “sewe” is “Shivah) dae lank aanhou,spesifiek wanneer ’n gesinslid van ’n kerngesin afsterwe, dit wil sê vader,moeder, seun,dogter, broer, suster of lewensmaat(Ook in totaal sewe).

Tydens ’n Shivah word die normale kultuur-rituele nie gevolg nie, behalwe tydens feesdae(uitsluitend Sabat dae wat nie op so ’n feesdag val nie), en word die shivah ook ’n sittende shivah genoem.

Dié bostaande ritueel, volgens die beperkte hoeveelheid beskikbare historiese informasie, kan selfs in die Bybel nagespeur word, en is veral sigbaar in die Nuwe-testamentiese oorvertelling van Lasarus wat uit die dood uit opgewek is deur Jesus (Johannes 11).

Teen die tyd dat Jesus en sy volgelinge in Betanië aangekom was Lasarus se liggaam al reeds vier dae in die graf gewees (Volgens Johannes 11:39) en dus die vierde dag van Shivah.

Nog ’n aanduiding dat die Shivah nog aan die gang is, word bevestig deur die woorde van vers 19 wat so lees: “en baie van die Jode het na Marta en Maria toe gekom om hulle oor hul broer te troos”. Die gebruik wat tydens die Shivah periode plaasvind deur nie-familielede en vriende wat die familie in rou besoek, staan bekend as Nichum Aveilim. Die familie waarby besoek afgelê word, word met die volgende seënwoorde begroet : Ha-Malom y’nachem et’khem b’tokh sh’ar avelei Tziyon Viyrushalayim , wat vertaal kan word as “Mag die Alomteenwoordige jou vertroos saam met die ander roubeklaers van Sion en Jerusalem.”

Die besoekers aan die huisgesin sal nie ’n gesprek aan die gang sit nie, maar sal net begin praat, as die gesinslid in rou wil praat. Dit word gesien as ’n vorm van respek, maar dit kan ook as deel van vertroosting gesien word… deur daar saam getreur en getroos kan word.

Dit bring my tot by die kortste vers in die Bybel, naamlik “En Jesus het gehuil”. Baie van die Bybel-kommentatore en ander teoloë, is van mening dat Jesus op daardie stadium nie net gerou het oor die deur prys wat die mens moet betaal vir hul erfsondes nie, maar eerder dat Jesus ’n vriend aan die dood afgestaan, by wie Hy net ’n mens kon wees.

Baie mense sien net die Goddelikheid van Jesus raak- daar is niks verkeerd daarmee nie, maar vergeet soms dat Jesus terselfdertyd ook ten volle mens was. Jesus, het soos enige mens gehunker om ’n diep, intieme vriendskap met ’n groep mense te hê by wie hy net homself kan wees, waar Hy net kon uitspan na ’n lang dag van mense die Waarheid leer kon rustig word en dalk net kon ontspan.

Lasarus was vir Jesus so ’n persoon gewees: Jesus kon teenoor hom oopmaak en laat gaan, as die dag se dinge net te veel vir Hom geword het, of selfs net ’n persoon saam met wie Jesus kon lag en waarvoor Jesus selfs voor ’n streep kon trek.

Ek dink die rede hoekom Jesus se “gemoed volgeskiet het”(die Ou Vertaling praat daarvan dat Hy “bewoë geraak het”, is dat die regverdigheid wat God moes meebring as gevolg van die mens se keuse om te sondig, maak nie net mense seer deurdat hulle verewig van hulle geliefdes geskei gaan word deur die rivier van die dood nie, maar ook dat God wou dit nooit so hê nie, God het ’n beter plan vir die mens- En Jesus besef dat Hy die hoofrol gaan speel daarin, en dat Hy net ’n paar weke daarna self Sy lewe sou opgee, nie om in alle Ewigheid dood te bly nie, maar juis die dood te oorwin en die houvas van die sonde op mens te breek, sodat die mens verewig saam met Hom sal wees, al sterf hulle ook.

Jesus openbaar alreeds toe Hy vir Lasarus uit die dood opgewek het, dat al die mag aan Hom gegee is hier op aarde en in die hemel , deur Sy Vader in die hemel. Hy bevestig ook sy woorde aan Marta : “Ek is die opstanding en die lewe; wie in My glo, sal lewe al het hy ook gesterwe; en elkeen wat lewe en in My glo, sal nooit sterwe tot in ewigheid nie.” (Johannes 11:25-26)

Die bostaande woorde wat Jesus gespreek het, gee vir my die hoop en versekering dat ek weer vir Oupa Hein gaan sien eendag wanneer ek huis toe gaan om met God te wees. Ek het so ’n vermoede dat hy my van agter af gaan bekruip en tweede in lyn gaan wees om my in die Hemel te verwelkom. Terselfdertyd sal hy seker by Jesus spog, dat ek sy “seun” is.

Ek wil hierdie skryfstuk graag afsluit met die seënwoorde van Rob Bell, bekende prediker van die Nooma (uitgespreek Knee-Ma) DVD-reeks, waarmee hy die DVD, Matthew ,afsluit (Die spesifieke DVD handel juis oor die rouproses, en het gedeeltelik gedien as agtergrond vir hierdie skryfstuk.)

“Mag jy besef dat Jesus ook gehuil het
Mag jy tot insigte kom, dat die emosies wat jy ervaar, dat dit oukei is.
Mag jy die keuse maak om nie jouself af te sny van ander mense en verbitter te raak nie, maar oop sal wees vir ander se omgee.
Mag jy besef dat God deel is van jou “sittende shivah”,dat Hy altyd teenwoordig is en dat Hy saam met jou rou, maar ook terselfdertyd jou seer te genees
Mag ons daarin hoop vind.”

You Hold me Now

The Global Economic Recession that is currently looming on each and every corner of the globe (no pun intended), has now also hit home, where I am.
Already about a year and a half ago the first clouds of the Global financial crisis that we have to face currently, were looming on the horizon.And we (including me) did not do enough to be proactive and place preventative measures in place. (This is quite normal for us human beings, as we tend to think that we are invincible and nothing can touch us and that we as humans tend to forget that history repeats itself over and over again.)

And once again, I must admit that I was foolish in my choices. Thoughts of “I should have…” is currently looming through my brain. I blame myself for not seeing the crucial Truth in what is taught in the Bible, in Genesis, when the Pharaoh had a couple of dreams with symbols of seven good and seven bad years and that the only way to survive it, was to reap from the seven good years and store it up when it is need during the seven lean years. So,yes to bring myself back to reality, I haven’t prepared properly for the coming economic storm, I am feeling the pinch rising living cost and just plainly trying to survive.

This afternoon, whilst driving home, I though to myself, to al of a sudden put a way extra money for a nest egg, in a time period where I am already worried of making it through the month (unfortunately knowing my bank balance remaining for the remaining two or three weeks), is that I can’t do it on my own effort.

I need some form of intervention that is beyond my logic. And I can already see something happening…

Let me explain: For those of you who don’t know me, I get a basic minimum salary, which according to other people standards and my known monthly fixed monthly expenses, just enough to survive (excludes travel and other unseen cost). Also there is a commission part, which is not a set amount and will differ from month to month, depending on technical call outs and other factors that make up my commission.

Thankfully I was able to pay al my normal monthly expenses, thus not having any added debts standing over to next month. But now, I have barely enough to make it through the month, waiting patiently for the commission to be paid in.

At this point in time, I realize that the only thing, or even only Someone I really can go to with all my burdens, al my shortfalls and needs, is God Almighty.

There was a point during the earlier part of tonight, that I just when into my inner room, not just to leave my burdens at His feet, but to praise Him, for where He has brought me so far in this month and even beyond my comprehension.

There is some lyrics from a song called “Blessed be Your Name”(which was written and sung by Matt Redman originally), which speaks to my soul and gives me hope, even though I can not even see where the path is, which I want to share with you:


Blessed be Your Name
In a land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your Name

Blessed be Your Name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your Name

I also further got encouragement, once again from the Bible, from Habakkuk chapter three, from different portions of this chapter, especially the last three verses to place my trust in the Lord. (To really understand the real hope of the last three verses of Habakkuk 3, you must read the whole chapter 3.)

Here some of the verses that stood out for me (and what it meant to me):

“Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord” (verse 2A).

What more can I say, words from my mouth will not be able to do justice to tell of the fullness of God’s character and who He is. I feel so very very small and inadequate in His sight. That the creator of the known and humanly unknown universe (which He already knew about for like Eternity), would know me by my name and still calls me to be His…that’s scary, yet comforting on a whole other level.

“His glory covered the heavens, and His praises fills the earth. His splendor was like the sunrise: rays flashed from His hands, where His powers were hidden” (Verse 3 to 4)

From verse 5 until the end of verse 15, it tells of the anger of God towards those people and powers, which threatens and persecutes those who he really loves. God will do anything to keep His “loved one” from harms way, using forces of nature to overcome these threats.

The famous word of verse 17 to 19 gives hope and direction, in these difficult times, and is my hope keeping focused on Him:

Though the fig tree does not budand there are no grapes on the vines
Though the olive crop failsand the fields produce no food
Though there is no sheep in the penand no cattle in the stalls
Yet I will rejoice in the LordI will be joyful in God my Savior
The Sovereign Lord is my Strength
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights.

I hope that my situation will be an encouragement, an inspiration to all reading, to “Trust in the Lord, with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5)
Please pray for me, so that I will keep my focus and trust in Him that my words, as written here will be also written on my heart and that I will trust in God to supply in His ways and means and that I will thank Him, whatever form, He decides to intervene.
It is so easy to stumble and fall, but with the knowledge of people (and God) believing in me will be a rock on which I can stand.

Tian

Die Onse Vader Gebed

Ons Vader wat in die hemel is
laat U naam geheilig word;
laat U koninkryk kom;
laat U wil ook op die aarde geskied,
net soos in die hemel
gee ons vandag ons daaglikse brood
en vergeef ons oortredings
soos ons die vergewe wat teen ons oortree
en laat ons nie in die versoeking kom nie
maar verlos ons van die Bose

Hierdie bostaande gebed sal dié van julle wat bekend is met die inhoud van die Bybel – die Heilige Geskrif van die Christelike geloof as die “Onse Vader” gebed.

Vandag, op pad na Wayne (My installasie assistent) se huis in Elsiesrivier, dink ek toevallig aan die reël in die gebed, “Gee ons vandag ons daaglikse brood” en ek besef toe by myself dat hiérdié gebed soveel keer deur my en ander mede-gelowiges rympie-agtig geuiter is, sonder nadenking van wat ons sopas gebid het. Dis hoekom ek in hiérdié skryfstuk my interpretasie te gee oor wat ek verstaan met die woorde wat Jesus gebruik het, asook die implikasie daarvan in ons hedendaagse lewe.

“Ons Vader wat in die hemel is”

In die eerste reël word daar word ’n identiteit gekoppel aan die Persoon wat aangespreek word, asook waar die Persoon Hom bevind , naamlik “Ons Vader wat in die hemel is.”

Dit herinner my nogal sterk aan die samestelling van ’n e-pos adres soos tian@broadbandexpress.co.za. Die eerste gedeelte van die e-pos adres voor die aapstert (@ - simbool) identifiseer wie die persoon is wat op die ou end die e-pos gaan ontvang. Die tweede gedeelte van die e-pos adres, na die aapstert (@ - simbool) dui waar die spesifieke persoon hom/haar bevind. In dié adres wat ek as voorbeeld gebruik het, is die aangespreekte deel van ’n Suid Afrikaanse Maatskappy met die naam van Broadband Express (Die .co in ’n e-pos adres, dui teoreties op ’n maatskappy, met die za, wat dui op die ligging van die Maatskappy – za wat natuurlik dui op Zuid Afrika)

Maar terug by die kerngedagte van dié skryfstuk. Soos reeds gesê, help die eerste reël van die gebed wat Jesus sy dissipels leer bid het, ons om te identifiseer wie aangespreek word. Ook wat interessant is in hierdie opsig, is dat Jesus bid “Ons Vader”, wat ’n sterk aanduiding is dat God as die Vader-figuur nie net in verhouding wil wees met Sy Seun nie, maar dat God se hartsverlange is dat ons as gelowiges, as Sy bruid, in verhouding met Hom moet leef.

Dit was nooit God se bedoeling dat ons as sy skepping, van Hom moes geskei gewees het nie, maar deur die mense se keuse om ’n selfgesentreerde lewe te lei, is ons van God se teenwoordigheid verwyder. Ons strewe om te leef vir die “eie-ek”, het verrykende gevolge soos armoede, vreemdeling-haat, vernietiging van God se skepping, asook die skepping van wanhoop by meeste mense.

Nog iets wat opvallend is wanneer ons God aanspreek as ’n vader-figuur, is dat ons karaker-eienskappe van ’n vader in Hom raaksien, soos ons ook in ons aardse pa’s so raaksien. In die eerste instansie word die manlike ouer-figuur – vader, gesien as die oorsprong van toekomstige nageslagte. So was dit ook, Adam, die eerste mens, is uit God se inisiatief geskep, en uit Adam as die volgende patriarg, het sy nageslag ontstaan.

Ook kan gesê word dat ’n vader ook die rol van ’n (nederige) regter moet volstaan. Hy moet na al die belange van sy huishouding omsien en onpartydige, regverdige besluite te kan neem vir die belange van sy huisgesin, voordat hy aan homself aandag gee.

Die benaming “Vader” kan ook gesien word as ’n verwysing na gesagsfiguur soos die hoof van ’n land, wat met die nodige respek en eer aangespreek moet word – iets wat in die volgende gedeelte meer uitgelig gaan word.

“Laat U Naam geheilig word”

Wat beteken dit om iets heilig te maak? Om iets te heilig beteken om iets toe te wy vir ’n spesifieke doel, maar ook respek en aansien te betoon. Dit is wat God van ons vra. Wanneer ons bid “Laat U Naam geheilig word”, bid ons eintlik “mag dit so gebeur dat ons as U skepping onsself daartoe toewy om U met die nodige respek en aansien te eer.”

Met dat ons in die moderne tyd al meer kere gejaagde lewens leef, vergeet ons van die Een, wat ons die nodige krag en daaglikse brood voorsien, en dat ons verplig om Hom die eer te gee wat Hy verdien. In Die Bybel staan daar ons is “vir God en deur God geskep is.”(Kolossense 1:16). Met ander woorde, God het ons gemaak, sodat ons saam met die res van die uitspansel, wat Hy geskep het, Hom as Skepper-God kan eer en verheerlik.

In die voorafgaande paragrawe het ek redelik gefokus wat die woordjie “ heilig “ beteken in al sy vorme, maar dit is ook belangrik om ook na die onderwerp van heiliging van nader te bekyk, naamlik die Vader se Naam.

Wat is in ’n naam? In die tye van die geskiedenis waarteen die gebeure in die Bybel hom afspeel, was die betekenis van die naam wat die kind by geboorte gekry het, ’n sterk weerspieëling van hoe die kind gaan uitdraai as volwassene. Baie kinders van daardie tyd het juis, as hulle geweet het wat hulle naam beteken, so hul lewens geleef. Jabes was amper een van hulle. (Sy naam beteken “Hy is in smart in die lewe gebring”)

Voor Jesus se geboorte, het die hemelse boodskapper aan Josef verskyn, en aan hom gesê dat die Seun wat Maria verwag, Immanuël genoem moet word, want Hy gaan God met ons wees. (Die el aan die einde van Immanuël dui daarop, want in Hebreeus van daardie tyd het dit altyd deel gevorm van die name wat die verbondsvolk gebruik het om hul Skepper-God, אלהים (uitgespreek el – o –heem ).) En Jesus het met Sy lewe hier op aarde die verpersoonliking van dié naam – Immanuël, uitgeleef. Jesus was volkome mens gewees, maar was ook volkome God.

Selfs tot in hierdie tyd, waarin ons leef, word daar nog steeds waarde aan jou naam gekoppel. Aan ’n naam is ook ’n reputasie gekoppel, en daardeur kry ’n individu identiteit. Deurdat God verskillende name vir aanspreking het – name wat ons moet heilig – gerespekteerde toewyding moet gee, is dit moontlik dat ons God se Goddelike karakter, deur Jesus Christus, kan verstaan, en deurdat ons God beter verstaan, kan ons ook nou Sy wil hier op aarde leer, maar ook doen.

“Laat U koninkryk kom”

Wanneer ons hierdie woorde, “Laat U Koninkryk kom” bid, erken en bely ons dat ons Hemelse Vader, Koning is.

Ons moet ook in gedagte hou, soos ’n aarde koning in verhouding met sy onderdane staan, moet ons, as deel van God se skepping, ook in ’n een - tot - een verhouding met Hom staan. Ek dink diep binne-in onsself, al van ons eerste dag hier op aarde, het ons as mens die hunkering om in die nabyheid van sy Skepper te lewe, net soos die oergeslagte van ter vore. En Jesus, deur Sy kruisdood, maak hierdie Skepper- skepsel verhouding moontlik, deurdat hy in die midde getree het as tussenganger.

Die tydperk waarin ons onsself nou bevind, net na Pinkster tot en met die Adventstyd, volgens die Kerklike kalender, staan bekend as die Koninkryktyd. In hierdie tydperk word nie net op daarop gefokus op die vestiging van God se koninkryk hier op aarde nie, maar daar word ook op verskillende vlakke gefokus op die verhoudinge waarin ons as Christene binne én buite die liggaam van Christus (die kerk), staan.

“Laat u wil ook op die aarde geskied, net soos in die hemele”

Die bogenoemde reël uit die “Onse Vader”- gebed sluit direk aan, by wat ek oor die vorige gedeelte, “Laat U Koninkryk kom”, gesê het. Iets was al reeds in God se hemel - woning plaasgevind het, is bestem, om ook op die aarde te gebeur.

Maar een faktor bied daarteen weerstand. Die mens. God het ons ook ons eie wil gegee – die vryheid om keuses te maak. Dit was nooit God se plan om ’n spul robotte te skep, toe hy die mens geskep het nie. Hy het juis die mens geseën met die gawe om keuses uit te oefen.

Maar ongelukkig, met die sondeval, is die mens nie net van God geskei nie, maar dit was ook die beginpunt van gereelde botsings tussen hulle wil en God se wil vir hulle.

Die mens se wil word gekenmerk deur die volgende houding gekenmerk:
“Elke man vir homself, en te hel met die res.”
“Alles in hierdie lewe gaan net oor my!”
“Alles moet gebeur soos ek dit wil hê”
”Ek is die main peanut in die pakkie”,
“God het mý geroep om die wêreld te suiwer van ongewenste elemente.’ ”

Die ironie is, as ’n mens na die wil van die “eie-ek” kyk, is dit in direkte konflik met God se wil. Ek wonder, of u die leser, die verwysing na Hitler, in die laaste reël van die vorige paragraaf herken het (of was dit nou Verwoerd, Botha of selfs Mugabe?)

God se wil soos reeds genoem, is heeltemal ’n teenpool van ons eie wil. Die hartklop van God se wil, die kern tot God se wil is die liefde, want soos die Bybel genoegsaam sê dat God is liefde. Dus is daar ’n afwesigheid van selfsug, haat, afguns en, wél, alles wat ander mense rondom ons seermaak, in God se wil.

Sedert die sondeval, was God konstant besig om deur mense, sy wil en koninkryk hier op aarde te hervestig. Die kruis sou die element wees wat God en die mens weer nader aanmekaar sou bring, sodat ons as mens ’n beter begrip kan hê van wat God se wil is vir ons lewens en vir die voortbestaan van Sy skepping, veral met die drastiese veranderinge in die klimaat, weerkundig gesproke, maar ook sosiaal en ekonomies.

Een persoon in die geskiedenis van die mensdom, wat ongelukkig nie meer met ons is nie, maar duidelik genoeg verstaan het wat die wil van God was in die tydgleuf wat hy geleef het, is William Wilberforce

Hy was die dryfveer agter die wetgewing wat slawehandel in die ganse Britse ryk sou afskaf, asook die vrystelling van slawe. Op ’n dag, het Wilbeforce met sy beste vriend(wat later die Britse eerste minister sou word) gedeel, dat hy met ’n wroeging in sy hart sit :Om ’n verskil te maak, of om God se wil te doen. Sy vriend se raad, “Doen albei”

Dit is wat so wonderlik is...God se wil vir ons is om te besef ons is Sy kroonskepping en ons is geskep deur Hom, vir Hom. Reeds van die begin af, was dit Sy bedoeling dat Sy hele skepping hom moet verheerlik, nie net die hemelwesens om Sy troon, wat hom heeldag lofgesange en aanbidding toesing nie, maar alles wat Hy hier op aarde is geskep, is gemaak slegs vir daardie doel alleen. Kolossense 1:16 sê die volgende “Alle dinge is deur Hom en tot Hom Geskape.” (Ou Vertaling)

Jesus Christus, in Sy persoon, maak dit weer moontlik dat die skeiding tussen God (die hemel) en ons (die aarde), volkome oorbrug word, sodat God se wil en koninkryk ook op die aarde kan geskied, soos dit in die hemele is.

“Gee ons vandag ons daaglikse brood”

So twee weke terug(relatief gesproke toe ek besig was om hierdie paragraaf te skryf in my aanvanklike notas tot hierdie skryfstuk), het ek met Tannie Elmarie(ons gemeente se hoof-leraar se vrou), juis gesels oor die implikasie van die woorde “Gee ons vandag ons daaglikse brood.” Soos ek aanvanklik besef het, en so het ek Tannie Elmarie meegedeel,is dat eerstens wil die gedeelte vir ons sê, eerder herinner dat ons afhanklik is van God om ons van ons daaglikse brood te verskaf. My indrukke toe ek kleiner was, was dat God ons letterlik sal voorsien van brood, soos Hy gemaak het met die volk in die woestyn, maar daar is ’n definitiewe figuurlike aspek daaraan verbonde.

Figuurlik gesproke is dit ’n direkte verwysing na God wat voorsien in ons daaglikse behoeftes en dat ’n pleidooi en erkentenis van ons kant af is, dat ons God nodig het as deel van ons lewenswandel en dat ons afhanlik is van Sy genade alleen.

Met Jesus se leringe, wat beter bekend staan as die bergrede of die Bergpredikasie, sê-vra Jesus vir die skare, dat hoeveel ter meer sal God vir die mens nie sorg, om dat die mens meer as twee mossies werd is in God se oë, en selfs vir daardie twee mossies sorg God voor in Sy almag. (Matteus 10:29-31)

Later het Jesus vir dié wat hom in daardie stadium gevolg het geleer, dat die mens al sy bekommernisse op Hom moet werp(Matteus 11:28), want ons sal nie ’n dag bekom as ons onsself bekommer oor die dag van môre nie. (Matteus 6:28 – 34)

Geloof speel hier ’n belangrike rol, want jy het nodig om God blindelings te vertrou in Sy voorsiening. Dit is vir ons moeilik as mens om dié tree van geloof te vat, want ons is gemaklik met alles wat sigbaar en meetbaar is, ten opsigte van voorsiening van ons daaglikse brood. Hoeveel groter is die beloning nie, as ons net bloot in alle aspekte van ons lewens in afhanklikheid van God lewe. Dan sal ons werklik verstaan waaroor God se wil en koninkryk handel.

“En vergeef ons oortredinge, net soos ons die vergewe wat teen ons oortree.”

Oor vergifnis kan ’n mens ’n hele boek skryf (aanloklik), en ja, daar is toevallig alreeds ook al ’n Boek daaroor geskryf(en ook die liefde, wyshede, lofgesange, die skepping ... )

Op ’n onlangse kamp waarop ek was, het die spreker in een van sy sessies die vraag aangeraak wat nodig is in ’n verhouding en dinge wat nie behoort te wees in ’n verhouding nie. In die groepe was deugde soos liefde,vreedsaamheid,wedersydse respek,geduld en vertroue genoem, maar in die afwesigheid van deugde soos dié bogenoemde, kan ’n verhouding skeefloop. Die spreker het verder gegaan en die kerngedagte wat die spreker wou oorbring tot ons almal, was dat “vergifnis is die gom wat enige verhouding saambind.”

Om te vergewe beteken nie net om jou oortreding teenoor ’n ander persoon te bely nie, maar ook dat wat vergifnis geverg het, heeltemal vergete moet bly en nooit weer opgegrawe word nie. Met ander woorde, wees Jesus vir daardie persoon.

Jesus se voorbeeld van hoe Hy vergifnis hanteer word duidelik beklemtoon aan die woorde van Psalm 103:

“Barmhartig en genadig is die Here, lankmoedig en vol liefde. Hy sal ons ons sonde nie bly toereken nie en nie verewig toornig (kwaad) bly nie” (vers 8 en 9)
“So ver as wat die ooste van die weste af is, so verwyder Hy ons oortredings vanaf ons af” (Vers 12)

Nou die interessante ding oor vers twaalf is dat in die tydperk toe hierdie Psalm geskryf is, het die mensdom nog die denkwyse gehad dat die aarde plat is en dat as ’n mens te ver oor die rant sou gaan, dat jy sou afval – dus het hulle tot die slotsom gekom dat God die sondes van ons af wegvat so ver die westelike rant van die aarde vanaf die oostelike rant van die aarde af is.

Die teorie dat die aarde plat is, was tog nie so waterdig nie. In die tyd van die Renaissance het astronome en wetenskaplikes(en kunstenaars), soos Galileo, Kepler, Copernicus, Da Vinci, bepaal dat die aarde ’n sfeer is, wat effens afgeplat is by die pole. (en baie van hulle moes hul teorie ontken voor die kommissies en hofsake wat deur die Roomse Kerk, of wel as ketters uitgejou word en die nodige straf ontvang – gewoonlik baie menslik (brandstapels,tronkstraf ensovoorts), want God se kerk maak mos nie seer nie(?!))

Om weer terug te kom by vers 12 van Psalm 103. As ’n mens dus dié vers sou plaas in die konteks dat die aarde rond is(fisies bewys deur die ruimte - reise van die twintigste eeu), dan is dit onmoontlik om die ware verste moontlike punte van oos en wes te bepaal,(ons het lyne oor die aarde begin trek, maar dis maar ook net denkbeeldig) dan kom dit daarop neer dat God se vergifnis en genade soveel groter is as wat ons ooit onsself kan indink.

Om terug te kom by “vergewe ons soos ons dié vergewe wat teen ons oortree.” My eerste indruk as ek die bogenoemde aanhaling lees, is dat God ons sal vergewe soos ons ander vergewe. Vrymaking maak deel uit van die proses van vergifnis. Dus die manier hoe ons ander deur vergifnis vrymaak, sal God ook vrymaking in ons eie lewens bewerkstellig, om ons volkome te bevry van die kettings (skuldgevoelens, ensovoorts) wat ons weerhou om te lewe soos wat God ons bestem het om te lewe.

“Laat ons nie in die versoeking kom nie, maar verlos ons van die Bose”

Ek gaan hierdie gedeelte, wat in meeste manuskripte as die afsluiting van die “Onse Vader” gesien word,in twee gedeeltes deel, naamlik “Laat ons nie in die versoeking kom nie...” en “...maar verlos ons van die Bose.”.

As ’n mens die na gedeelte “Laat ons nie in die versoeking kom nie” van nader bekyk, herinner dit mens sterk aan die gedeelte in Jabes se gebed(1 Kronieke 4:10), naamlik “Weerhou hou my van die Bose.” Plaas ’n mens die twee gebede parallel aan mekaar, is daar nog gedagtes wat redelik met mekaar ooreenstem. Byvoorbeeld, in Jabes se gebed, spreek Jabes die volgende woorde: “Vergroot my grondgebied.” Dis amper soos die versoek, “laat U wil geskied”.

Laat ek verduidelik: As gevolg van God se wil wat in albei gebedsversoeke geskied ten opsigte van uitbreiding van grondgebied (die “Onse Vader” se “Laat U Koninkryk kom” en “Vergroot my grondgebied” van Jabes se gebed), kom dit in direkte konflik met die grondgebied wat die duiwel vir homself opgeëis het, na die sondeval. Sodra ons(en God) meer en meer in die duiwel se plekke van houvas binnedring en meer en meer kettings gebreek word, deur Jesus se bloed, hoe meer probeer die slang van ouds dit teenstaan.

Dus die rede vir die woorde “neem my onder U beskerm” (Jabes se gebed) en “En laat ons nie in die versoeking kom nie.” (Die “Onse Vader” – gebed), is ’n versoek van ons af aan God om ons te versterk teen enige vorm van aanvalle van die duiwel se kant af, sodat die duiwel nie ’n houvas in ons lewens kan verkry nie.

“Maar verlos ons van die Bose.” Die versoek is eerder ’n pleidooi van die kinders van God, dat as dit God se wil behaag, dat Hy hulle uit die wurggreep van die bose se magte en heerskappy oor hul lewens sal gryp. God se wil behaag dit wel, en gouer as wat die volgelinge van Jesus kon begryp...

In minder as drie jaar, nadat Jesus Sy volgelinge hierdie woorde leer bid het, hang Hy aan ’n kruis, en uiter ’n versoek aan Sy Vader in die Hemel, ’n pleidooi van vergifnis. Hy spreek die woorde “Vader vergewe hulle, want hulle weet nie wat hulle doen nie “ en dit vir ons elkeen se siel. Einde ten laaste, voordat Hy Sy laaste asem uitblaas, voltrek Hy die verlossingsplan van God met die woorde, “Dit is Volbring.”

God verhoor elke woord wat Jesus op daardie dag gespreek het en daar kom toe volkome verlossing vir die wêreld van die een wat hulle Satan of die duiwel noem. Op Golgotá word die beslissende prys van vrymaking van die hele mensdom betaal – vanuit die eeue oue verlede tot die voleinding van die wêreld. Die mens word op daardie oomblik volkome vry van sy sonde-kettings.

Mag ons, met Christus se wederkoms, saam met skare engele om Sy troon saam die volgende woorde besing:

“ Want aan U behoort die Koninkryk, die Krag en die Heerlikheid, tot in Ewigheid. Amen ”

Only time will tell

"Why are we so impatient when waiting in queue?".

This thought occurred to me this morning, while standing in a queue in a bank this morning.

I came to the conclusion, that even though we really think about it, our soul acknowledge the fact that time here on earth is so limited and death a real thing, each of us have a certain extend of uncertainty towards death itself.

While searching the net, i found the artwork on the right called "Carpe Diem"by the artist called Nanoo G. And in this image as you can see is a hand with sand running though its fingers. My interpretation of this artwork is that God is holding our life in His hand(the sand) and every moment more and more of the sand falls away - time that passes by. It is up to us to decide how we would live our life's, before it becomes dust and fades away.

So in a way, our soul is telling us - not by an audible voice, that we must seize every moment of every day!!!


Carpe Diem

Unmasking the Truth

Clowns. Somebody that might be hurting in the inside, whilst he is making the rest of world burst out in laughter. Have you ever thought that underneath all that facial masking, might be a different person, from the one we're seeing falling over her oversized shoes and that the face paint is just something superficial?

If I look a church (gathering) of Christian (followers of Christ), I see a lot of smiles and contentment amongst them, although there might be something lurking behind the sea of happy faces.

Like it or not, all of us sometimes put on a happy, my life-is great face, just to say to the rest of society everything is fine, and there is nothing missing in my life, that will make my life incomplete, even though my life might coming crashing down like the World Trade Centre over and over again!

I think the main reason why people put on these types of masks is that the rest of the world may see that Jack and Sarah are still in control of their different lives.

When you apply face paint, like people that is clowns, after a while, especially when it is hot outside and your facial skin starts excreting perspiration, the face paint starts to flake, causing the skin to itch, so much so much that you need to remove the facial mask of paint.

In real live, however, we as humans are stubborn beings. We want to wear the mask as long as possible, because we don’t want to let others see the flaws in our own life, because we are scared, to death even, that others might see our imperfect “face” and turn their backs on ourselves, just because the don’t like the real you.

“Incomparable, unchangeable, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same …”

But the ironic part in it all is if you look at the previous quote from the song “Indescribable” by Chris Tomlin, is that God loves you with an everlasting love, and He knows the depths of your heart – so He sees through the “mask” you are trying to hide behind.

In Scripture, the psalm-writer says the following in Psalm 139:

“Oh Lord You have searched me and You know me. (Verse 1b)

“You are familiar with my ways.” (Verse 3b)

“For You created my inmost being” (Verse 13a)

Just reading the few verses from Psalm 139, as quoted above, myself and maybe you also, might be frightened, knowing that God knows your deepest fears, pains and sin – stuff you don’t want the rest of the world to know about. But knowing that God knows everything of you as a human can also bring freedom. You will be able to live a life, without worrying to keep your deepest secret a secret, because He knows it all.

In Psalm 139, there is also a plea from the psalm writer to God.

“Search me, O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way Everlasting.” (Verse 23-24)

In the last two verses of psalm the psalm writer sees himself in a mirror, and he is pleading to God to search him throughout, so that he with God’s help can know the way of Everlasting life.

And God did show the way. His Son, Jesus Christ became man, living amongst God’s creation, sacrificing himself, taking all the sin in the world – past, present and future on Himself, paying the wages of sin, thought His death on a cross. He rose from the grave three days later, overcoming sin and death forever.

Shortly before His death, Jesus spoke amongst other words these two quotes below:

“I am the Resurrection and the Truth” and “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life”.

The significance to these two quotes is the two words in each of them “I AM”. It is told in the Old Testament, that when God met Moses at the burning bush, Moses asked God what he must tell the Israelites, if they asked him who has sent him. And God answered Moses “Tell the people that ‘I AM’ have sent you.”

Now Jesus calls Himself “I AM” in the two quotes mentioned earlier, publicly declaring that He is God.

My prayer this Easter (I’m writing this piece in the days before the commemoration of Jesus’ death and resurrection) is that you would let go of your masks and give all to Jesus, because He wants to set you free. His intention is to set you free from eternal death, by giving you the choice to choose Eternal Life.

In the Beginning God created human beings as the splendour of creation, giving humans the ability to make choices in life. God knew that bad choices (sin) will bring a great divide between humans and him.

The effect for our sin is eternal damnation to hell. But because he created the human race in His image, he had to put a plan in place, to save the human race from eternal death, even before satan came and tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden. Satan tried various times to prevent God’s plan from succeeding. But not in his wildest dreams satan could comprehend that God will go so far as to send His Son on the ultimate rescue mission.

My friend, Jesus stepped down from His thrown in heaven, been born into a normal Jewish family. Being completely sinless, He made the choice to take the entire world’s sin – past, present and future on Himself, fully paying the wages of sin – death.

The final step in His rescue mission is that to overcome all the power of the authorities of hell, Jesus had to step down into the depths of hell, spending three days in hell, but getting the victory over all authority of hell and death through his resurrection, three days after He died.

May you fully understand the significance of Jesus’ death and resurrection this Easter. May you make the choice to accept God’s free gift of Eternal Life by just believing in His Son, Jesus. May you grow closer in your relationship with God through Jesus as your Brother, Friend and ultimately as the Lord and Saviour over your life.

My Woorde

Woorde. Sommige kere so subtiel soos 'n sjokolade-truffel wat jy aan jou geliefde voer en dan stadig in haar mond wegsmelt. Maar woorde kan ook 'n storm in 'n koppie laat losbars, met Katrina se proporsies.

Allterasie en Assonansie - maniere hoe woorde kan vervleg word in 'n taaldans: Ritmies. Lewendig. Polsend.

Sommige mense sal van mening wees dat my skryfstukke effens ongestruktueerd is, meet geen kans dat dit voldoen aan die taalstruktuur van Standaard-Afrikaans( of Engels) nie!

My skryfstukke kan in dieselfde lig gesien word as 'n vrye vers. Per definisie is 'n vrye vers nie soseer gekoppel aan 'n vaste digstrukteer nie.

In daardie lig wissel my skryfstukke ook: paragrawe is nie ewe lank nie of sommige kere begin my sinne verkeerd, byvoorbeeld op 'want' en 'maar'.

Wat ek hiermee regkry, is om my woorde neer te pen, soos dit rondval in my gedagtes: ru en teer.

So, as julle nie hou van die manier hoe ek my tweetaligheid 'verkrag' nie, maak soos Kerkorrel sing in die laat 80's en vroeë 90's "SIT DIT AF, SIT DIT AF!"

Welcome to the planet ME

Why is it always that we tend to criticize the faults and the shortcomings of other people, and yet we do not attend to the "bad spots in our own life's?

In the Gospel according to Matthew, Matthew documents one of the teachings Jesus taught as part of the Sermon on the Mount.(I think it is called the Sermon on the mount, because of the location where Jesus taught the people - either a hillside or on top of a mountain.)In this teaching, Jesus says that we must attend to the beam in our own eye, before taking out the small splint in another person's eye.

You might have realized by now, that the the above-mentioned analogy Jesus has used in his day is something we are guilty of, even until this very day and age.

We tend to judge and compare people by looking by their outward appearances an comparing it again to the "good characteristics" of our selfs. So "I" became the measure of success, love life, social standing, fashion, etc.The world started to revolve around the planet called "I", and everything is being monopolized by "I".

We live in culture that celebrates self-centeredness, with self-gratification as the only need, it seems, to be satisfied every minute of every day.

I must admit, I am also guilty of being self-centered and selfish, and I know that through my selfish, self-centered actions, I have caused hurt to people surrounding me, I acted in a manner that God would see as sin and in the process, I hurt God as well.

As you might have noticed, love played a pertinent role in my previous posted blog-entries, especially a love for your neighbour. I think that is what Paul meant in the letter he wrote to the church in Philippi, where he urged them to put the needs and issues of other people in front of your own needs and desires.

How would the world look if we were not worried about 'me', but thinking of the person, that might be stuck in rush-hour traffic in the car next to you, that might be in the need of neighborly love, without your judgmental attitude towards them?

I want to leave you with a challenge: To love other people, with the love love you give to another,will reflect the following words of Scripture:

Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4 - 7, NIV

The human touch

The biggest killer on earth is not a disease like cancer, but the inability to be inspired by another human being.

If humans were not inspired by another human being, then life would be a living hell. Because any form of inspiration, causes a human to react in a way that could impact people surrounding them in a positive manner.

Words are the main medium of inspiration. It can be written or spoken. Also words can be unwritten or unspoken. The “unwritten” or “unspoken” I am referring to is the things you could do to inspire a person. I try to inspire other people surrounding me using both written and spoken word, but also deeds that might inspire them to make a difference in the world.

Did you know that just because of one person’s action, generation after generation has been saved because of his unselfish love for the human-kind? The same person was labeled peculiar by his own people! The person I am talking about is not just human, but also fully God.

His deeds did not just change parts of the Middle East and Turkey, but is still changing the world as we know it today, and will do the same into the future, until He comes back for a long visit, one or another time.

So, be ready to give up your “house”, because when He moves in, He will never leave! “Never” is a absolute never, not the type you will get at some marriage vows, just to find “never” being over before you can even say “happy 5^th anniversary!”.

But what is it about Him that inspired writers, artists, and for that matter, everyday people, to life their lives in a way that is totally different, than what the society would consider as normal. I know that He is the one whose example I want to live by.

I think the reason that I want to live my life in the same way as He did, have to do with the way He treated humans around Him. His compassionate eyes caused Him to weep, due to the suffering in this world, and unlike most of us, that struggle to do something about the suffering in the world, He did something.

With limited resources (2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread), He was able to feed over 5 000 adult men. (The amount of woman and children present at the specific occasion has not even been mentioned)

If you have not figured it out by now, the Person I am talking about is no one else than Jesus Christ. By many He has been seen as a religious nut of some sort, or even a fictional character in a mythical or cultural story-telling.

I believe that He is the King of kings and Lord of lords, and I have seen Him at work in my own life on several occasions, and that He manifested Himself to me in different ways.

During my life so far, I have been involved with three different motor-vehicle accidents, every time just walking away, with a bruise here and a scratch there. There has also been a incident during the course of last year, when a 18-wheeler, try and ran my bakkie (Pickup truck) off the road.

This is not really the point I am trying to make here, but it might be that you are starting to realize that there is a God and He is real. And that Jesus came to this earth to set me and you free.

The point I am trying to make, is that through my words and my actions, I want the world to know that He loves us with an Everlasting love.

Jesus said, just before He ascended into heaven on the clouds, that we must go to all the corners of the earth and make the people that we meet and interact with, His followers, teaching them also the things He taught when He walked the earth.

This includes the sermons on being humble, caring for one another, loving each other with a sacrificial love, a willingness to put another person’s life(and all aspects of that person’s life), before your own. And this does not mean to give another the permission to trample your life into the mud.

A certain aspect of putting another person’s life, before your own, is to stop looking down at other, thinking that certain character-traits of them are inferior to you, and also not to judge them, according to your standards. When Jesus walked the dusty roads of Judea, he treated the Pharisee and the Tax Collector the same, dying for them both on the cross.

I just realized that while I typing the couple paragraphs, before this one that everything Jesus did on this earth was never for Himself, but always, for the people he loved so much. And that through His human touch a lot people has been inspired to live their life’s differently and inspiring others to do the same. In the original Greek, inspiration means literary, “to be breathed upon”. And I believe that through my human touch, God will also breathe upon your heart today.

The Greatest Commandment

I have come to the conclusion that God still uses everyday people to answer life’s greatest conundrums and let His will be known for the world through these ‘everyday people’. (By everyday people, I mean the people that you would interact with everyday, like your family, friends, colleagues and other people that might cross your path.)

My story starts a week or so back, when I was in a battle with myself. Will I make a choice, based on the accepted norm of society within the teaching and morals of the church, or will I follow my heart’s desire.

I have to come out of the closet about something, not many of you might know: Two of my friends are lesbians. One of my lesbian friends I knew from the time that I was in my last year of school. Thus we have a friendship of over five years and it is still continuing. It was only when I was almost finish with my High School finals, that I suspected that she might be a lesbian.( I would soon enough find out that she was actually a lesbian)

The other friend I got to know through the friend I mentioned in the previous paragraph. I did, however saw her a lot of times before I was actually introduced to her, seeing that on several accounts, she was the waitress of my table in my favorite coffee shop. She and my other friend have been engaged since July of last year.

If you have not realized it by now, the battle I found myself in surrounds my two friends. Will I, like the most of the churchgoers take in the stand of rejection towards my two friends, because they are lesbians, and according to the Bible, homosexuality is an appalling sin, or will I hate the sin of homosexuality, but I will love the sinner.

Did Jesus, Himself go and gather with the people which the religious leaders of that time, rejected as ‘sinners’.

To come back to my story, I ask God to give a clear answer, what I must do. I pray to God for an answer, but God was silent to my request, or so I thought …

The next morning, my friend Chris, gave his departing sermon in church, before leaving for Port Shepstone, where he has been called to minister in the local Dutch Reformed Church.

His sermon was on the whole story surrounding the Pharisee and the tax-collector in the temple and how that the Pharisee prayed and thanked God that he is not like the tax-collector, whilst the tax-collector had a more simple request, that God will have mercy on him.

The point Chris wanted to bring across, is that all of us is sinners and fall short of God’s glory and that we can be only saved by God’s grace alone. And he left us with a straight-forward challenge: To accept God’s Saving Grace through Jesus Christ, and loving other people in the same way Jesus loved both the “sinners” and the “sinless”(Pharisees) of that time.

I also gained something from that sermon, God answer my question; I have struggled with during the previous 24 hours. I made the decision to accept my lesbian friends for who they are, and not throw away a friendship, because of the opinion o the church. I will love Lelanie and Haylee with the same compassion and love, Jesus had for the sinner of that day, and still have till this very day, and even beyond this moment in time.

After saying al of this, I decided to get out of the closet and declare that some of my friends are gay or lesbian, and I will not reject them, even if the church does not think likewise. I will love them as Jesus instructed me to do. Jesus gave the command “LOVE ONE ANOTHER!”

Happiness is ...

{All of these quotes comes from the back of brown sugar sachets, that is served with the coffee, at my favorite coffee shop. Their peppermint Crisp Tart is also a favorite with me}

There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy

Robert Louis Stevenson

Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.

Elenor Roosevelt

Remember, that happiness is a way to travel, not a destination

Roy Goodman

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have

Hyman Judah Schactel

Happiness is perfume, you can't pour it on somebody else, without getting a view drops on yourself.

James van der Zee

Hope in a hopeles world

Friday 19 October 2007 around about 22:00 local time.

For now I am going to unhook myself from the laptop’s power chord, and just time, whatever comes to mind, until I am reminded by the laptop of the battery.

At this moment in time I am feeling the emotion of euphoria, sweeping over me like a giant wave. The Springboks are facing the English roses in the World Cup Final Match (which they will win), but on quite the opposite pole I feel a certain degree of uncertainty.

There are so many things going on in the world at this moment in time, no wonder we have people with chronic stress-related diseases. The people of South Africa fear for their lives, because of crimes. People are dying in neighboring Zimbabwe, because of poverty. The freedom of people in Myanmar (Burma) is in an imbalance due to the rule of the Militant Junta.

I know, by this time, you are considering, going to the next best available website. But just read on for a little while. I believe with all my heart that the next couple of sentences, paragraphs, are just what God wanted to tell you this week.

Saturday, October 20, 2007 around 06:30 AM

After I’ve typed the full stop of the last sentence, I went asleep. So I am going to carry on, where I have left off.

This past week, I was searching for an envelope in the side table of my mother’s bed. And I came across a book that I borrowed her, quite a while back, called “And Jesus Wept”. So I though to myself, “what is the significance of me finding this book at that time”, a question left unanswered for two days or so.

Later the week, I went back to the side table to retrieve the book. I turned the book around and this is what the back covered read: “A marriage ends in up in divorce, a terrorist-attack kills thousands, A mother of four killed in a vehicle-accident. What did Jesus do when this happened? He Wept. When Jesus sees our pain, and sees our heart ache, he weeps with us …”

The profound thing here is this: Most people ask the question “why?” when something terribly goes wrong. They asked it with 9/11, they asked it with the Tsunami in Thailand in December 2004, and they are still asking it today. Let me rephrase the previous sentence: We asked it with 9/11, we asked it with the Tsunami in Thailand in December 2004, and we are still asking it today.

Have we totally forgotten that God, our Father in heaven, may also have felt the pain and the suffering? You know the One that created man in His image? Do you think it was easy for him to flood the planet in the days of Noah? Do you think it was easy for Him to see His Son die on a cross?

The point I am trying to make here is this, God is still at work in the lives of people around the world every day, it does not matter which religious background they follow, just because they, we are His creation, image-bearers of the Creator, and covered with His fingerprints. God wants to lift us out of a state of hopelessness, and give us in abundance. He wants the Believers to go out with their brokenness and bring healing to other broken-hearted people. He wants to use YOU, with YOUR brokenness, hurt to bring healing, to give others HOPE of everlasting life!

Coffee-Shop thought

Man can try as hard as he can to build a human being, but still fail, because he can't give his creation GOD-breath!

Inspiration for the week

"Allow the children to come to Me – do not forbid them – for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” This was the rebuking words of Jesus to his disciples, when they try to prevent the children to come to Him.

This past Friday-evening, a couple of our church’s high school youth action, went to visit the newfound satellite home of the Durbanville Children’s Home, which is situated in Kraaifontein.

It turned out to be a wonderful evening for both the children and the high school children of our church. Chris, the proponent(a proponent is a minister of the Word who has not yet been legitimised by the Dutch Reformed Church’s council) at our church, put two snoeks on the coals for us, whilst the rest of us rediscovered out inner child, when we had some fun with the children of the children’s home. For those who are wondering, there are about 9 children staying at the satellite home, between the ages of 4 and 18.

The most profound thing that I’ve realised, while spending time with the children there, is that they have accepted each other as brothers and sisters, no matter what their ages are, or even the colour of their skin. There is a love between the children, which my words cannot describe.

Also, because of what I have experienced at the children’s home on Friday evening, I have a clearer understanding what Jesus meant by his command to us “To love one another as we would love ourselves.” There is more to this command than just loving and caring for your neighbour, for instance the person you sit with, in the church pews, week in and week out.

This command commands us to really go outside our comfort zone, taking the hands of the people out there, and loving and caring for them, just as Jesus would have done. Then ultimately we will be doing the great Commission, to go to all the corners of the earth and to do, everything, Jesus taught us to do.

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog. This is the first official post of my blog at my own personal web presence. And it is surely not my last.
What can you expect from this blog. Well to put it bluntly, if i have some on my mind, you will probably see it here first. This blog will be all about the stuff i expierence in my own life and it might also contain my thoughs on other topics that might come to mind.
Thank you for visting my blog and i hope to see you soon

Adventures in missing the point

Ek is gefrustreerd met myself. Toe Chris saam met my en my ma koffie gedrink het, het ek besef dat ek die boot totaal en al gemis het.

Want sien, deur die loop van die gesprek, kom die vraag van Chris se kant af (uit pure belangstelling) met watter leesmateriaal ek myself mee besig hou. Dit was toe dit uitkom dat ek meestal omgaan met Christen litratuur omgaan (en my boekrak kreun daaronder).

’n Paar sinne later sê hy ’n profound ding – Hy sê dat ek my uitkykppunt moet wyer maak as wat dit is, meer as net die oogpunt van een Christenskrywer. Eintlik wat hy daarmee bedoel het dat ek nie net een skrywer se woorde as die Alfa en die Omega moet aanvaar nie. Maar iets dieper het in my losgekom ...

En dis toé ek besef: Ek het die boot heeltemal gemis! Ek het so vervleg geraak met Christenboeke, musiek en vriende, dat ek heeltemal die wêreld afgeskeep het.

Die Bybel sê dat ons nie van die wêreld is nie, maar wél dat ons in die wêreld is. Die eerste punt, die verstaan ek – Ons moenie onsself conform met die leefstyl van die wêreld Maar waar ek die punt gemis het, is met die tweede punt: “Maar julle is in die wêreld” (my vertaling)

Ek het myself toegespin in ’n Christen-kokon – myself in isolasie geplaas, terwyl ek suppose was om Jesus se hande en voete te wees.

Ek het touch verloor waaroor my opdrag eintlik gaan.

Here, ek is jammer dar ek U gdrop het. Daar is niks verkeerd dat ek Christen literatuur gelees het nie, maar ek, Jesus, het dinge net vir myself gehou, nie my Christenskap prakties in die wêreld uitgeleef het nie.

Vergewe my , Here, vir my ignorance, my selfsug. Help my om in voeling te wees met die wêreld rondom my, sodat ek nog steeds ’n leefstyl leef waar ek nie conform met die dinge van die wêreld nie, maar dat ek ’n verstandhouding het, van wat besig is om rondom my te gebeur, hier in die wêreld.

Dankie vir Chris, Dankie dat U hom gestuur het om die oogklappe voor my oë af weg te neem.

Superheroes

(A proponent the Dutch Reformed Church it is a minister of the Word that has not yet been ordained by the Ecumenical board of the DRC.)

On 25 March, my new friend, and also our church's proponent preached on the subject of Super-hero's, during the children's service held at our church this morning. Now his message touched me so much, that I want to collaborate some more on Super Hero's.

Firstly, I want to make it clear, that I don't want to copy-cat everything he'd said on the subject, instead just voice my opinion. And Chris, if you're reading this, I thought the message wasn't great at all. It more worse … I thought it was AWESOME!!!.

Chris used the example of the comic strip/ movie/ tv superhero, superman. Chris collaborated on the abilities of superman: Speed, X-ray vision, Strength and stuff like that.

But then he told about another HERO, one with the ability to be everywhere at the same time, who can heal the sick, let blind men/woman see, let paralyzed people stand up and let them walk away, as if they weren't paralyzed at all. HE is also able to direct the weather, and even feeding thounsands of people with only 2 Fish and 5 loaves of bread. But also, when the people killed HIM, three days later HE was able to stand up from the grave and lived.

This HERO, is no one else than Jesus, the SON of the LIVING GOD, and also GOD. Now this HERO impress me more than a "make believe hero like spidey, or that other green guy or the 4 friends( not to be confused with Joey, Chandler and the other friends sitting on the park bench.)

Jesus himself said "No one has greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."(John 15:13 MKJV). That is true what He'd said, because He did not just lay down HIS life for those who followed Him the 3 years He ministered the Good News, when He walked the earth. No, He came to said us free, from the sin that bound us from the time of Adam and Eve, until He'll be returning to earth at the day of judgement. He came and walked this earth, that the relationship man and GOD had before an incident involving, a man, a woman a snake and also a fruit, may be restored[made whole].

He loves you so much that He paid the Eternal price of your sin[wrongdoings], with HIS death, when HE took all the sin of the world-Past,Present and the Future on his shoulders and paid for it ONE TIME.

He died a sinners-death, so that we don't have to. Romans 3:23 says "For all has sinned and come short of the glory of God" (MKJV). Romans 6:23 repeat this "For the wages of sin is death, …" Jesus already died that death for us, for our sin. But verse 23 continues with this: "but the Gift of GOD is Eternal life through Jesus Christ, Our Lord."

You remember what Romans 3:23 said: "For all has sinned and come short of the glory of God". Now for me this means, my good deads, going to church, reading my bible, stuff like that "Christians" do, won't get me into heaven, no "For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9, MKJV).

The only way you can be saved, is that you believe with your whole heart, that JESUS paid the price for you sin and it is by this gift of grace that you can be saved.

You can have a restored relationship with GOD, and Inherit the grace gift of Enternal life, right here, where you are sitting and reading this.

Firstly you must admit(confess) to God that you are a sinner, that you have came to a place in your life that you've realized, that you need Someone to free you from your sin. Then making the decision to turn your back (repent) on all your sinful desires – stuff that hurts others and yourselve. Confess to the the LORD that you believe that HE died for your Sin and that He raised from the dead, so that you don't have to pay the price for your sin. Accept Him as your LORD and Saviour, willing do to His will, Going to where He calls you to GO.

The following is a short prayer (conversation with GOD) that you can do right now that says what the previous paragraph has said:
"Dear God, I don't understand it all, but I do understand and admit to you right now, that I'm a sinner, that needs Someone to set me free from my sin. For I know that I am sinner and the result of my sin {Confess the stuff that you have done wrong}, is Eternal death.

But I stand in the position to make the decision to be set free by You right now, and turning my back on all things that has hurt You, the people around me and ultimately myself.

Lord, I believe with my whole heart, and I confess it with my mouth, that You have send Your Son, Jesus to become man, and to die on the cross for my sin, and that He rose from the grave on the third day. That He has conquered Sin and death and Won!!! Lord, I now submit myself to Your will alone. Lord Let Your Will Be Done In My Life. I turn my back on earthly gods, and accept You now as my Only GOD.

Holy Spirit, please fill me with your always-present presence,Convicting me of sin in my life and confessing them as they come to mind.

I ask You Lord, all of these things, in the Name of Jesus Christ, My LORD AND SAVIOUR.

Amen.

If you just prayed that prayer, I just want to say, welcome to the family of Christ. If I don't see you while here on earth, I will see you in heaven.

Because you have been born again, you are a Spiritual baby and just like real babies you need to grow. The following list of stuff will help you to grow:


Read your Bible every day: Start by reading the Gospel of John. Don't have a Bible? While you're on the Internet, do a search for Online Bible, and you will find lots of links for Bibles that you can read, while online, or Free Bible Applications that you can download. You can buy a Bible at most book stores.

Pray: For any relationship to work (any kind of relationship), the two main things to do is Speak, and Listen. To grow in your relationship with God, you need to speak (Pray) to him daily, and wait for Him to speak to you (Listen). There aren't any special words, so what I do, I would speak to him, as I would to a friend, a normal conversation.

Fellowship: This basically means, join a church where the Good News of Jesus Christ is proclaimed. You need people around you that can help you grow Spiritually.

Witness: Tell other people of your decision to follow Christ as your Saviour. Most people will slander you, or be mean to you, but that is part of being a Christian, you must be willing to speak out of what Jesus has done in your life.

For more questions, please email me at: tianboonzaaier@gmail.com

If you just decided to follow Jesus, please email me also at the above email address.

God Bless.

Tian

Kringe in my bos

Apologie aan Saul Barnard

“Die lewe is ’n skewe sirkel, pa. Aan die een kant is die houtkopers besig om die houtkappers uit te mergel, terwyl die houtkappers besig is om die Bos uit te mergel…”

Twee jaar het verloop vandat ek Kringe in ’n Bos gelees het as deel van my Matriek Afrikaans. Aanvanklik was die milieu van Kringe, ’n bietjie moeilik om te begryp, maar toe ons redelik gevorder het in die boek begin die sirkel motief wat handel oor die tydlyn waar die verhaal homself afspeel, wél toe val alles in plek soos ’n legkaart.

Tot die een aand toe ons ’n jeugspan vergadering gehad het, het ek nie rêrig gedink dat dié boek sou ’n groot invloed op my lewe hê nie, maar sommige waarhede wat Saul gepraat en gedink, het onverwags tog vasgesteek. Dankie Saul.

Waar ek nou die eerste paar woorde van hiérdié paragraaf nou tik, is ek al reeds vir vyf dae by die huis nadat ek op die 3de Februarie van hierdie jaar my diploma kursus by CTI klaargemaak het. Dit voel nog steeds ’n bietjie onwerklik - een oomblik worry ek myself siek oor die eksamens en skielik is als maar net ’n vae herinnering.

Julle wonder seker waar pas Kringe in ’n Bos nou in. Om mee te begin, juis die feit dat ek klaar geswot is, ’n voltooide sirkel in my lewe. Die voltooide sirkel in my lewe verteenwoordig natuurlik my opvoeding wat ek ontvang vandat ek oud genoeg was om skool toe te gaan, tot die dag toe ek my studies voltooi het. Selfs hierdie sirkel het sekondêre sirkels binne – in homself.(Ja, my sirkel net soos ek is manlik).

My jaar (1991) wat ek in pre-primêr in Fanie Theron gespandeer het kan gesien word as die begin van my laerskool loopbaan. Die opeenvolgende jaar tot die einde van 1997, was ek Paarl Skool gewees, en daarna weer teruggekom Fanie Theron toe vir my graad 6 en 7 jaar. Die Paarl Skool sirkel natuurlik is ook ’n siklus op sy eie.

Toe ek graad 7 aan die einde van 1999 voltooi, op die vooraand van die nuwe millennium, is my laerskool siklus, wat my jare by Paarl Skool insluit, afgesluit en die jaar daarop my Hoërskool sirkel begin! Die nuwe sirkel, soos ek baie gou sal ontdek het eintlik omtrent vir elke jaar sy eie siklus gehad, maar ook vir sekere goed wat ek aangepak het, het ook sy eie siklus gehad.

Die jare het verby gevlieg en toe land ek in Matriek en raai wat, Saul Barnard se biografie word my voorland in die eerste drie maande van my sewe maand siklus van my laaste jaar op skool!

Dis ook in die tweede maand van dié jaar wat ek malkop verlief raak op ’n vriend vir die afgelope twee jaar of so. Die gevoel haar uit te vra, het die sterkste begin klop, so twee dae voor dat Kupido sy pyl en boog span en onverwagte paartjies vang. Toevallig was daar ’n hipnotiseur daardie dag by die skool, maar geen bewys kan gevind word dat hy verantwoordelik is vir enige bonatuurlike intervensie nie.

Miskien was dit die feit dat die matriekraad daardie bestemde aan ballonne opgeblaas het vir die vale en dat ons boonop die rose die volgende dag, saam met die ballonne teen halfprys kan kry. So die volgende dag, so tien minute voordat die klok gelui het, het ek en sy ’n alleen oomblik saam (nie wat julle dink nie ...) en dis waar ek die groot vraag vra( wél altans die tweede grootste vraag wat bestaan).

Ons was toe vir 8 maande saam, toe sy my in die middel van my finale eksamen net los? Goed die hele scenario rondom die feit dat sy my gelos het is nog steeds vaag. Dus sal daar nie in diepte ingegaan daarop nie. Dus het daardie sirkel op ’n seer manier geëindig.

Anyway, so twee maande daarna vind ek uit dat ek my graad 12 jaar geslaag het en dat ek binne volgende twee weke kan begin by CTI. Dus word nie net my hoërskool siklus voltooi nie maar ook my loopbaan op skool Soos ek al reeds gesê het, slaag ek my laaste eksamen op 3 Februarie 2006. En so word daardie siklus ook afgesluit.

Net soos in Kringe, word daar ook terug na die hede en weer na die verlede gespring, so universeel bestaan daar ook ’n tydsiklus in my lewensverhaal.

Toe ek en Madelein uit mekaar uit is, was daar sekere van die goed (onthou julle nog van die scenario van wat ek gepraat het) wat nie heeltemal opgelos was nie. Daar was soos in die meeste romans toue wat nie saamgebind is om die verhaal te voltooi nie.

Ek gaan op 17 Februarie 2006, finaal afsluiting kry oor wat in die verlede gebeur het, en dus word nog ’n siklus so afgesluit. Ek weet dat ek ook eendag kan sê soos Saul aan die einde van Kringe gesê het, “Maska, gaan roep vir Miss Kate...”, met bedoeling dat die regte persoon gaan nog my paadjie kruis, of dat die persoon al reeds my pad gekruis het, maar ek nog met oogklappe opgesit het.